On 24 June 2016, the Centre fell.

No accident, after many years shunted unloved between two warring step-families, it leapt off Westminster Bridge and its body washed out to sea. Both clans appear relieved not to have the burdensome task of burying the body in unhallowed ground.

Friends of the Centre, whilst numerous, appear not to have been friends of each other, and no memorial service has yet been held. Wild reports are made, by various untrusted persons, of visitations from a restless spectre which commands respect be shown.

These superstitions must be exposed to the cold light of cruel reason. Tales of shades and unquiet souls will not find purchase in the minds of voters.

See it clear, and say it loud. The Centre is dead.

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